Spiritual Growth: 4 Steps to Pursuing Christ with Your Spouse

Recently, I was asked by a reader (such as yourself) for recommendations to pursue God as a couple. As this topic was rolling over in my head, I immediately thought of my dear friend, Wendy. She is a mom of four children, a homeschool teacher, owns her own business, and fiercely loves the Lord. I cannot tell you how many times my husband and I have had rich conversations with Wendy and her husband, Steve, about our walk with the Lord. I have found their encouragement and guidance so challenging that I could not think of a better person to encourage and guide you all! So without further ado, here are Wendy's tips for seeking the Lord with your partner. --Lauren

This year we are celebrating the marriage of my youngest sibling. It is an exciting time planning the bridal shower, the purchase of their new home, the wedding preparations, and of course the "big day" celebrating their decision to go through this life together as one. This decision is one of the most important decisions in a person’s life. But it doesn’t stop there. It's what comes after that special day that we are celebrating. The sanctification and growth that comes from a husband and a wife doing life together. Marriage was created by God to give us a glimpse of the relationship of Christ and the church. Ephesians 5 draws this parallel for us, "Wives submit yourselves to your own husband as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." There is so much more on this parallel worth studying but this is not the sole purpose of this article.

Our goal and focus in marriage should be to bring glory to God and focused on serving Him, not ourselves or our selfish desires. We have a responsibility to our spouse to…”spur one another on toward love and good deeds” Hebrews 10:24. How do we maintain a biblical mindset on what our marriage was created for? We strive to grow deeper in our understanding and our faith in God. We do this by studying the Word and pursuing God, individually and together as a couple. Don’t get me wrong, I believe marriage is a gift from the Lord and can definitely be satisfying and rewarding. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.” James 1:17

Here are four practical ways we can pursue God together in our marriages

1. Read the Bible together. It sounds so simple but writing the Word of God on our hearts is powerful. Studying the word together allows you to challenge and sharpen one another not based on your opinion or desires but on Gods perfect desires. My husband and I routinely ask each other about what God is teaching us and this leads to deep spiritual intimacy rooted in our faith.

2. Pray together. We KNOW this is powerful. Psalm 37:4 tells us “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” This is not telling us that we will get whatever we ask for but that our desire will match His desire, His good and perfect desire. We put so much emphasis on communicating with our spouse as a key to a successful marriage, yet are we remember to communicate with our creator? Spending time together in prayer, communicating with God is of great importance. Aligning your hearts to the desires of our creator together as spouses will do great things in your marriage.

3. Serve together. Paul tells us in James 2:26 that faith without works is dead. Serving together puts your faith in action. Serving humbles you together and reminds us that we are not the center, and that our calling is to be the hands and feet of Jesus. You will be amazed at how conflict can melt away when your conversations spend more time on how to help serve other people together vs. needs you feel are unmet by your spouse.

4. Be discipled by a couple (and if you are in a healthy place, be discipling others...) My last challenge is one that my husband and I have practiced with great success over the years. We recognize we are sinful by nature and sometimes we allow selfish pride or fear to creep in and blind us in an argument. Sometimes those molehills turn into mountains and we need other believers to walk alongside us and lovingly point out where we are missing the mark. We have couples that have a few more years of marriage under their belt that we meet with regularly and have invested in us. They know our strengths and our weaknesses. We have great respect for these couples, and when we feel like we may need some help navigating a situation we are stuck in, we know they will provide Godly counsel. We trust their perspective knowing they are not picking sides but pointing out important truth in our potential blind spots.

All of these helpful hints may sound completely foreign and will ultimately be ineffective if you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus and the sacrifice He already made on your behalf. Jesus died for you, paid the penalty for your sin, rose again and offers you the gift of forgiveness. If you are attempting to do good deeds for good karma, or feeling as though you have to earn your favor with God, you will always feel an emptiness inside and your efforts will fail. Once you rest in the understanding that you cannot do anything to earn God’s favor, and place your faith in Jesus, you will be forever changed! I would love nothing more than to talk with you if you have questions about your faith and what the claims of the Bible mean when applied to your life and in your marriage.