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Think back for a moment to your dating days or the months of engagement leading up to your wedding. Those days were likely filled with excitement and passion and anticipation – remember when your heart would jump at the sound of your phone receiving a text message or when you couldn’t wait to surprise your love with her favorite flowers? Remember when you just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? Or when you planned those elaborate dates with all of his favorite things? Those were the days! Or so we often think as we look back on those romantic, whimsical feelings early in our relationships. And we long to have those days back because we think somehow that romance is gone forever, now that we have entered a different season of life. But take heart, friends! The best days of your relationship are not behind you, but rather before you.
Yes, romance will inevitably look different now and in the coming years than it did when you were dating or engaged – it’s impossible to recreate those chemically-induced feelings of brand new love. But the good news is, the goal we are striving is something much greater. In truth, if you’re seeking that falling-in-love-for-the-first-time feeling, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because the only way to find that is by dating someone new every six months. So, what are we striving for that is so much better than the all-consuming love of an early relationship? It is a love that can withstand time, trials, and seasons of life without sacrificing any of the passion or intimacy that you so desperately desire. It is a love that is unconditional and unselfish, a love that pursues the heart of your partner day in and day out.
Men, we believe that you are the key to keeping the romance alive in your relationship because you were created to lead, to defend, to pursue. You men have this ability to make a woman feel like the prettiest, sexiest person in the room through your words, your touch, and the way you look at us. Your confidence and initiation in pursuing and delighting in your wife are crucial to a successful, fulfilling, God-centered marriage.
Women, we believe you are created to be the rock on which your men stand. You have the ability to make your man incredibly confident or incredibly insecure. Paul writes to us in Ephesians that we are to respect our husbands. Now this is not because we owe them anything, rather we get to delight in our husbands by encouraging them on their talents and their strengths. Because, nothing is sexier than a man who can lead a family in loving Jesus.
So how do you inspire that romance feeling, once you’ve been together for 5, 10, 25 years? What are ways to create a love that is exciting and fulfilling, a love that delights in our partner? We’ve created the acronym TIME to offer some helpful strategies for reclaiming the romantic aspect of your relationship. Each of these steps provide you both with the opportunity to pursue one other passionately. For specifics on how to apply these—check out our videos on our Facebook page.
T – Ten minutes of uninterrupted conversation every day
I – Initiate rest and relaxation
M – Make time for sex
E – Express your love for your partner frequently
Take time to truly delight in your wife today. Consider taking advantage of opportunities throughout the day to show her how much you love her and want to cherish her. Greet her at the door, look her in the eyes and tell her how much you love her, treat her to a pedicure or flowers “just because.”
Take time to pursue your husband today. Tell him how much you appreciate the work he does for the family and what you respect about him. Give him a little butt grab as you walk by him in the kitchen, “just because.”